BREAKING: Donald Trump ROASTS Rex Tillerson In Newly Revealed IQ Test

This just in: Rex Tillerson has the lowest IQ ever recorded for a Secretary of State, proving once and for all that Rex, not Trump, is the true idiot.

It all started last week when Rex Tillerson reportedly called President Donald J. Trump a “moron” at, of all places, the Pentagon.

Shortly after this outburst, Trump took matters into his own hands earlier today, openly telling Forbes magazine with the dignity and no-frills attitude we’ve come to expect from Trump:

“I think it’s fake news. But if he did [say] that, I guess we’ll have to compare IQ tests. And I can tell you who is going to win.”

Trump, always a man of his word, made sure to make time out of his busy schedule to run the IQ tests, and a representative from the White House has approached The Daily Chronicle with the results.

Donald Trump’s tense relationship with Secretary of State Rex Tillerson came to a boil last week.

Solomon Baxter, Junior Representative For the White House HR Department, has let us in on the fact that Trump’s scores far surpassed Rex’s–and he’s gonna be very embarrassed by this one.

According to official tests administered by Mensa International, it turns out that Trump’s IQ rested at an impressive 162, on surpassing even that of Steven Hawking and coming close to former child prodigy Kim Ung-Yong.

Predictably, Rex didn’t fare quite so well. His score? A mere 74, making Rex Tillerson officially borderline retarded.

Well it seems that the results are in and once again, Trump has proven that he refuses to accept the false words of White House bullies–and proving yet again that he will fight false accusations with facts.

This story will be updated as more information is made available.

Donald Trump Adopts Shelter Dog

On Friday, October 6 2017, Donald Trump joins many presidents in adopting his first puppy to inhabit the White House.

Trump, a huge fan of man’s best friend, adopted Trixie. Trixie is a shelter dog and was given to the president as a gift by Governor Tim Scott.

“Every American president should have a good dog,” Scott said. “It was just a matter of time until Trump took the step to reach out to me to get one. I’m a dog lover myself.”

This is Trump’s 5th dog throughout his life. His first puppy was at the age of 8. His name was Rex and was a Spanish Terrier. Rex was Donald’s best friend until he left for college at the prestigious Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.

Ivanka, Eric and Don Jr. all grew up with their own puppy. But Baron has yet to have his own. So the president fixed that.

“When I was a young boy my puppy was very special to me,” President Donald J. Trump said. “You should have seen [Baron’s] face. It lit right up.”

This story will be updated soon.