Special Delivery: yet another reason not to trust the impending takeover of drones.
As drones have rose to prominence in the past several decades, they have been responsible for killing babies, drug trafficking, and tariff circumvention, to name a few.
But this time, drones–and Amazon–may have gone too far.
At approximately 3:30am on October 25th, 2017, a drone arrived at the White House loading dock bearing what appeared to be gifts. Though the Secret Service had been fast asleep at that point, President Donald J. Trump–known to eschew sleep in order to get more work, deals, and negotiations done with foreign entities.
Trump approached the package skeptically, but tactfully. He had a feeling something was up–and he was right. Once the package was dropped off by the drone, an NFC chip hardwired into the bomb decoupled from the Amazon drone, effectively beginning a countdown of just five minutes. As soon as Trump realized what was in the package, he knew exactly what to do.
Keeping his former military experience and general intelligence in mind, Trump is no stranger to disarming bombs. Sources close to Trump estimate between one and four seconds remaining on the bomb. In the nick of time, Trump was able to save both himself, as well as over two centuries of American history in one fell swoop.
What does this mean for the future of America? Naturally, our skepticism towards drones now has a more established provenance. Perhaps Trump will enact more policies and strip more regulations to ensure that drones have no place in our society, or maybe he’ll even go for Amazon and fine them. After all, if products aren’t made and sold in America, what’s the point?
This story will be updated as it develops.