Trump Fan Tom Brady Decides Not to Retire

Thomas Brady, coming off one of the greatest careers ever, has decided not to retire this season like many were expecting. The reason? Simple.

“If Trump isn’t gonna give up,” said Brady. “Then neither am I.”

Brady, commonly referred to as “The GOAT” has had a bit of an off year. For the first time in a while, he was defeated in the first round of the playoffs and was unable to reach the Super Bowl.

Many thought his coach, Bill Bellichick, might want to move on from him.

Not so.

Instead, Brady is getting a $30 million dollar contract this off-season to stay with the team. The team is deciding to keep him around for at least one more year to see if they can make another plug at a super bowl.

Brady, and his coach and owner at the Patriots, has been an outspoken advocate for the president. He was seen wearing a Make America Great Again hat and speaking glowingly about Trump.

His illegal immigrant wife, Gisele Bunchden, claims the Brady’s do not love our president but that is probably just sour grapes. Brady knows what’s best for his family and is allegedly teaching his children the right things.

“I instill a belief in God, sports and America in my children,” said Brady. But that doesn’t mean that’s the only focus. President Trump needs our help. I have always voted Republican but this is by far the best president we have ever had and I can’t stop beaming, smiling cheek to cheek with how much I love this guy. I’m absolutely giddy.”

Brady could not be reached for comment at this time. We will update later if that changes.


Today, the first game of the 2017 World Series was underway between the Houston Astros and the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Astros, a hometown favorite, were primed to defeat the Dodgers early on.

But what happened before the game even started was of bigger note.

The Dodgers sat through the national anthem. Some players even began to kneel.

Joining other PC crusaders across the country, the spineless Los Angeles Dodgers manager refused to dress down his players. He should’ve told them they were wrong to disrespect the flag and our soldiers like that.

This is nothing new. Furthermore, this should be expected. If we ever want to affect serious change in our country and take it back from what it has become: a cesspool of takers and lazy bums, then we need to stop listening and idolizing these fools.

Idolize your pastors. Idolize your parents. Idolize your God. But do NOT idolize athletes, entertainers and the like. There are only here for you on Earth and NOT in heaven.